Me, The Trees and The Girls

We're Moving!!!!

The carpet is in and the inspector came in and approved occupancy today. So, after this long, long wait, the girls and I are moving into our new house starting tomorrow. Hard to believe that this is all coming true and I certainly couldn't envision a future like this when I was contemplating leaving the marriage earlier. We have two and a half bathrooms. The girls have their own rooms. We have a dining room. We have a big yard and lots and lots of TREES!!!!! There are not enough blessings in the world to give to my grandparents for building this home for us to rent. They are surely the most amazing people I have and ever will meet in my lifetime and I only hope to pass on 1/2 the kindness they've dispensed to this world. So the clan is coming together, mother, father, stepfather, grandparents, sister's boyfriend, cousins, uncle, brother and possibly brother's girlfriend to help us move in. And as if my grandparents have not done enought Grandmom is fixing lunch. Sure there will be lots of new posts with pictures when I have the computer up and running in the house. Thanks to everyone who has given me their support, here in person and online. You make a girl feel pretty special.

Again it's been awhile....

Okay, so it seems sometimes as if the new house was never going to be finished, but it looks like moving will be the weekend after next.  The weekend before school starts..yeak!

So I am in full nesting preparations.  I am SUCH a nester.

I pulled out the tubs of fabric I have hauled around and started quilts and pillowcases for the girls new rooms.  Pictures to follow.  I washed, dried and cut the fabric, so sewing should commence tomorrow.

I also started some artwork for their rooms and some collages for the walls.  Also, I have sort of become the queen of storage.  I am so intent on my new home being so natural and simple and organized that if I make one more trip to IKEA it could be just a little bit dangerous.

Blondie's best friend is over today, so I have three magical baby unicorns running through the house full volume, but I am glad to have her here as it's been kind of a quiet summer.

Can't believe school starts in less than 2 weeks and my baby, Reds will be off to Kindergarten.

When did I get so old?

The Storm

the storm came
violent and without remorse
the rain pelting down
comforting, yet ferocious
the droplets falling onto my outstretched hand
the children were frightened
and nestled in close to
the bodies of me and my mother
at their honest, innocent ages
they know not of this duality
the beautiful and the enraged
all tangled up together
like the physical presence
of my heart and longing
for the cleansing and renewal
but as well for the rage
and the fury to be unleashed.

This Friday A.M.

It's 10:30 a.m.

• I ate organic cereal with strawberries, blueberries and nectarines.
• The girls ate farm fresh egg wraps with strawberries and blueberries.
• I cooked breakfast while grooving to the happy music of Jason Mraz.
• We ate breakfast out on the porch before it got scorchingly hot.
• We watched four hummingbirds fight it out at the feeder.
• We saw a skink with a missing tail run across the porch and Reds followed it.
• We found a big, beautiful spider web glistening in the sun at the end of the porch.
• I hung the laundry on the line to let it be kissed dry by the breeze.
• We called my sister and left her a happy birthday song on her voicemail.
• I emailed my best friend in the world.
• I buried my face in my cat's head and listened to her purr.

Blessings?  I think so.  Bye Bye black cloud that hung over me all day yesterday.  I know you will be back, but for now...bliss.

Living In The Boondocks

Well, it's sure been awhile.

Temporarily living with my Mom in the boondocks where you don't get cable and you certainly don't get high speed internet.

Our house is coming along.  Visited it today and saw the new dining room and living room floors.  Carpet to come upstairs.  Reds is missing the old house and though she loves her Grandmom and Grandad, I am sure she will be much happier with her dog and her cat and her stuff back again.  Hope to be moved before school starts.

It's been 13 years since I lived at home and here are a few of the things I forgot about:

The calls of the Whipporwills.
The peacefulness of the mundane.  Washing dishes by hand, hanging the laundry out to dry.
Blowing on the stovetop to coax the flame out to cook.
Big bellowing dog that follows you around.
Enjoying a thunderstorm on the porch.
The sounds of the bullfrogs.
Walks through the trails in the woods.

And, the girls are surviving without the Disney channel and their multitudes of toys!  How about that.

I'm In Love With Two Men At Once

Okay, not really, but I cannot figure out which one of these two amazing singers I love more.

Mat Kearney

or

Jason Mraz

To Be So Loved

Ah to be so loved when you are newly separated and your ex has just gotten the papers.

You stay up until 2:30 a.m. listening to some tunes, packing the house and eating apples and cinnamon oatmeal because it's really hard to settle down to sleep and besides the kids are at their dad's.

Then you wake up at noon the next morning with the dog barking beside you and a pounding on the door. Grab the cell phone to see what time it is and see about eight missed calls from your family. Run downstairs in your t-shirt and underwear and peer out the door to see Mom and Grandmom standing frantically outside. Five minutes later Father shows up. No one could get a hold of you. Everyone is worried that you are okay. You feel horrible that everyone was worried when you were having a lie in, but they look so relieved that you are okay that it makes your heart melt.

You apologize profusely, thank them for their love and care. Realize that you have now wasted half a day with no kids to get things accomplished. Realize you should probably go upstairs and put some clothes on.

Many people, including myself, were afraid of leaving their marriage because they didn't know how they would do it on their own, or what their family would think of them once you and they found out all the dirty laundry. Losing a marriage, especially when you have tried so hard to do everything to make it work, feels like a horrible failure. The amount of stamina and the level of change that you face can sometimes seem overwhelming at best.

I am so very lucky that I have this beyond amazing family that loves me so much. I am sorry that each of them has to suffer along with me the scars and emotional damage that my marriage left upon us.

I hope and pray that my girls will never need this type of love and support that I am receiving, but I know that in my heart if they did need me I have had the best teachers in the world to show me how you honestly and truly care for one another.

And besides that it's going to be a great day, because I am well rested and feel like I can take on the world.

Hug Someone

Take four to five minutes and watch the video for Dave Matthew's Band's song Everyday.

You will feel four hundred times better afterward.

Message to the world.....stop complaining and hug someone.

Wouldn't it be much better?

Single Motherhood is.......

Learning to take pictures of yourself with the kids.

A new favorite.

When Are The Slasher Film Tryouts?